High Tech History

(submitted by Sheldon Wolfe, BWBR Architects)

After having dug to a depth of 10 meters last year, Danish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Danes, in the weeks that followed, Swedish scientists dug to a depth of 20 meters, and shortly after, headlines in the Swedish newspapers read: "Swedish archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the Danes."

One week later, "The Klub", a Sunburg, Minnesota newspaper, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 meters in corn fields near Games Lake, Ole Johnson, a self taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years ago Norwegians were already using wireless."

The Purina Diet

(submitted by Larry Nichols, State Architect's Office)

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog…… Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby, so on impulse – I told her no. I said I was starting the Purina Diet again, adding that I probably shouldn’t as the last time I attempted this diet plan I had ended up in the hospital. However, I had lost 50 pounds prior to awakening in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.

[I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.]

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me, and was that why I had ended up in the hospital.

I said no……I’d been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

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